I can say this because I wrote it in my head on my run and cannot recall a single sentence of it. So, nothing to prove otherwise.
It must have been brilliant.
**
I'm playing hooky right now. Taking advantage of about an hour that I have between pushing through some early morning deadlines (done!) and before I need to start getting ready in earnest to get in the car and go do a presentation this afternoon. I have about an hour drive between me and my destination and a car stereo that actually functions, unlike the past. I'm looking forward to the afternoon.
Right now, I made some tea. I just played a game of solitaire. I'm clearing my head. I feel decadent. Indulgent, even. I have a space of time to myself. And to spend with you.
So, how are you?
Today is the day we always thought our daughters would be born. Its not their due date. Its not the day they actually did arrive. This was the magical date that M and I always assumed they would come and be with us. A few weeks earlier than expected, but late enough that they would still thrive. The would come yawning and then squealing, marking the day M's sister was born (happy birthday, A!) as well as the birth date of their strong and resilient grandmother. An exclamation of the first 48 hours of spring. A punctuation on my decades of life living without cancer, but with its aftermath. Today would be the end of some stories and the beginning of others.
Today is a day you wouldn't know about if you didn't follow us here. Its not a date we announce, or commemorate or purposefully celebrate or mourn, although that has been known to happen. It is simply a day of remembering a date that's significant in this way only to us. March 22 is the day of our loves.

**
This day, this time around is colored brightly by hope. Oh friends, we have good news. A green light update, if you will. We met our gestational surrogate and her husband face to face for the first time last Friday....They rock. We think so. Our doc thinks so. Our shrink thinks so. People, all systems are go.
They were nervous, as were we. We promptly shuttled them from the airport through a major city (cue traffic, culture shock, trying to stay awake after a 4 am wake up to catch the plane, yowch). They were total troopers through it all. We had no idea they weren't on a direct flight, or else we would have insisted they stay the night. But tickets had been booked, there were return flights to catch. We spent most of our time in waiting rooms and in our tiny car, but that's where the most intimate conversations are supposed to occur, right? Didn't I hear a PSA about that once? Having trouble talking to your teen? Take a drive, talk it out.....
There were no uncomfortable silences, no awkward moments. Expectations were suitably subdued on both sides. I don't think any of us are looking for new best friends. We are looking for some folks with kind and generous hearts and open minds.
And I can only speak for myself, but I think we've found that.
We have contracts to finalize but our doc is already thinking through transfer dates. Which look like they could be as early as May.
May, people. May. As in 2012.
As in, soon.
I would love to tell you more but those are some conversations we still need to have together. Our family of two has just multiplied and pulled in another one to help us build ours. So if I'm skimping on details, I'm not being coy, simply respectful.
But what I can share is a feeling of optimism that seems to be completely taking over M and me. I'm feeling surrounded and overwhelmed by love, riding it like a sea swell, hanging on like mad.