This post is coming to you from the food court at O'Hare as I ingest the blandest cobb salad I have ever tasted. This airport is all business, hey? God forbid you get comfy.
In a few minutes I'll board a plane to my final destination - a mega-conference in L.A. that I happened to get a scholarship for (!) A scholarship that seems to include all kinds of bells and whistles, like discounted hotel rooms and invites to swanky post conference parties and soirees. I am beyond excited. And I'm all by myself. And a couple of things are striking me:
1. This concept that sometimes when you take a chance and ask for something, you actually get it.
2. That it has been a very long time since I've traveled solo. Day trips or weekends in DC don't count. I'm talking, covered significant geographical space without M., my fellow traveler, my partner in crime, recipient and exchanger of all snarky sidebar comments.
It feels a little wierd.
But good. I did extend and invite, but I've got a lot of work to do while I'm here and I think he knew I could do that best alone, unworried about how a companion could entertain himself. So he declined.
And usually leaving M. makes me nervous. Just because there is no one to hold the melancholy at bay should it decide to show up. But not this time. We put some things in motion before I left. Things that feel like motion, that feel like movement in positive directions.
Because sometimes if you take a risk and ask for something, you just might get it.
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6 comments:
You sound *wonderful*!! Enjoy!
Safe travels and good luck with the things you set in motion.
I sense a twinkle in your eye - you seem to be in a good place!
I really know what you mean about trying for something and getting it! We put off a fertility cycle for a good while when I got a temporary promotion I went for and that was exactly how I felt - here was something I'd worked for and achieved and I was going to give it my best shot, knowing that it was within my own control for once. Enjoy!
Hope you have a wonderful trip! :)
Thanks ladies! I feel great. Not sure how long I can sustain this pace, but Silver you are so right. It feels so good to feel competent and in control of at least one tiny portion of my life. I needed this.
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