Childhood cancer survivor. That's the good news. Bad news? Chemo and radiation zapped my eggs leaving me infertile. Egg donors were found, several attempts were made and finally we were blessed with beautiful twin girls - born too early (21 wks, 5 days on Dec. 5, 2008). Hang out with me while we savor life with Big Baby Boy, who arrived via gestational surrogate on March 25, 2013.
Monday, September 13, 2010
In Praise of Perfect Moments
Here's the thing: most Sunday nights and Monday mornings find me scrambling. Feeling semi-guilty for neglecting work I brought home over the weekend and didn't do...pep talking myself to death about how THIS week is going to be THE week I run or exercise every. single. morning...the week I get my shit together, the week I study for the CAE exam with focus and determination for a minimum of 7 hours....
Sunday night/Monday morning begins my weekly cycle of resolutions and to dos - some of which get done and some, alas, get rehashed the following week. One of the things that many times doesn't make it to the top of the list is writing my Perfect Moment.
I can't remember when Lori started Perfect Moment Monday. I just know the practice of paying attention and documenting one lovely thing that occurred during the week came at a good time for me. And it is something, unlike meditation, that comes fairly easily to me. Its a little dose of mindfulness that can pull me out of (and spare you from) the woooeeee is meeeeee-ness that can manifest itself here in a blog about infertility and loss.
I am not one that believes in everything happening for a Reason. I do not believe in a Divine Plan. Our world is one ruled (for lack of a better word) by Randomness. But Perfect Moments help remind me that randomness is not always bad.
So I find myself throughout the week thinking, "Oh, that would make a nice perfect moment....." and I make a mental note and sometimes that moment makes it to the screen and sometimes it doesn't. But its the noticing that I think is important. The practice of holding on, for just a minute, to the lovely.
So my Perfect Moment this week is about the recognition of perfect moments.
How meta is that?
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Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between. Go visit Lori from Weebles Wobblog, founder of Perfect Moment Mondays to read where she and others found their moments this week.
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6 comments:
You just blew my mind.
Happy new week. Here's hoping that it brings new positive momentum. I sure need some, seeing as how I didn't wake up for my early exercise alarm.
Meta me more, M!
Thank you for reminding me that mindfulness is sometimes its own reward. Sometimes I get caught in the trap of thinking "what good thing happened to me this week?".
When what this really is about is, "what normal moment was transformed by me noticing it?".
:-) Hope you have a wonderful week.
I absolutely LOVE this! Seriously.
love this. I'm sure lori did too!
i just wanted to say hello and i also lost beautiful twin girls at 20 weeks in oct 2009.
im so sorry for the loss of your girls. i hate to find people who have experienced the same pain as i have, but im also grateful to find you at the same time if that makes sense.
i love the positivity. after a very negative couple of months (which not surprisingly brought us 2 negative betas for ivf #2 and fet #1) i am trying to fit back into my old positive self again. ill be following along with you from now on.
xoxo
lis
That is such awesome insight! I find the same thing when I try to open myself up to 10 seconds of beauty. I find that there are many beautiful things i'd been looking right past.
Thank you for your kind comment on my blog, m. I really appreciate it.
I am so hoping to just have everything work out with as little drama as possible (HA)-
no really,
I am delusional, it's true.
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