Friday, February 3, 2012

Hey man, it's Friday

And the sun is shining and I don't want to do a darned thing that's on my plate today. But I've put off some things at work that are biting me in the ass now - so I need to carve out some time on this gorgeous day and spend some quality time with my keyboard.

I had this great idea to ditch my chair in my home office and replace it with one of those big bouncy exercise balls. I had this vision of my gut shrinking as my core hardened as I bounce bounce bounced and balanced my way to sleekness.

Um, it's not happening. And my back is killing me.

So I'm actually posted up on my rocking chair this morning. Windows (on the computer, not the wall) open all around me. To do list lined up. I'm all ready to go.

But I wanted to take a minute to thank all of you for Wednesday. For the hours that you spent with me here, via email, on the phone, sharing your experiences and your expertise, or even just giving your two cents. I took notes. Copious notes. I can't tell you how helpful it was, and how reassuring that we are not on this journey alone. I am immensely grateful. Thank you.

Since the last post we've had long conversations with our agency, and an attorney, and the agency who had a long conversation with the attorney. There is no guarantee of a pre birth order. But as many of you noted, there are no guarantees in most American states. Case by case is the norm.

As for the surrogacy lawsuit in the state where our potential surrogate resides, we learned more about the details. It was a traditional surrogacy (ours would be gestational) and if it even has a chance of moving, it doesn't seem like it would impact us or the dozens of other couples with surrogates in this state right now, even if it were a bad decision.

This is a state that has a surrogacy mandate in its insurance coverage. You heard that right. Not only is surrogacy not excluded in our potential surrogate's insurance, it is explicitly covered.

There is a risk. There is always a risk, but after talking with some of you (and the attorney and the agency and each other), we think we are ok with it.

It helped to learn that some of you know surrogates in the state that continue to be surrogates without issue. It really helped to know that our potential surrogate is actually friends with someone on her third successful surrogacy pregnancy. In her same county. At her same hospital. I don't know why that was the clincher for me, but it was.

We are moving forward. Waiting for paperwork, drafting contracts, sending medical records...

And we are moving forward feeling better informed and ready to face the obstacles that we might encounter along the way. And I'm sure there will be some. Good thing our rose colored glasses cracked ages ago. I've come to understand that an adoption process might be part of that package. And that's something I have to be ready for. And if that means I get to go home with our baby and there's a bit more papers to be filed, I think I can live with that.

Happy Friday, people. Tell me something awesome that you're doing this weekend.


Heather said...

There is a whole lot of awesome in your post. I love it!

My awesome for the week was last night when I took my 7 year old to see The Lion King. I had never seen it, and while I knew I'd enjoy it I saw it as more of a kid show. It was AMAZING, and the lyrics, "He lives in you - He lives in me" got me feeling all fuzzy about our son that never came home. I'm a non-believer, but the sentiment that my son lives on through all of us hit home in a way I wasn't expecting. And that has given me a happy hop in my step today.

Catherine W said...

I'm not doing anything awesome but I'm so glad to read this post and that you got such a lot of help and reassurance from people in the know xo

m said...

I love that. Thank you for sharing!

I am on the same page as you belief-wise and I will take those hops when I can get them. We got one last night when M got asked for ID at a restaurant. He was thrilled. I thought he was going to kiss the waitress. "How old do you think I am?" he asked. 27, she said after sizing him up. She was totally surprised to see she was off by a decade. "Well, when you have kids they are going to have some fantastic genes."

moment. happy. sad. mostly happy.

Yes, yes they will.

I am so glad you've got some spring in your step today. Happy Friday!

Carla said...

You are moving forward! This is awesome and exciting! Oh, the contract phase was my least favorite part, but so important to make sure everyone is protected. Best wishes as the journey progresses!

Nadine said...

Fantastic news!
I'm going to run 14km on Sunday, that's my little bit of awesome.

niobe said...


m said...

Catherine - me too!

Carla - you're so right. Not easy stuff, if there is any advice I am taking away from long talks this week, it's always plan for worse case scenarios (and then be happy if your planning isn't needed).

Holy smokes, Nadine. You are smoking me on the training. I started off strong this week and have fizzled since. I got someone out in dodgeball last night, does that count? :-)

niobe - yay indeed! And thank you.

JW Moxie said...

That's all such great news to hear. I'm so relieved to hear that the legal advice you received yesterday had the positive outlook that was needed to allow you to move forward with your chosen surrogate.

It sounds like you've truly found the right match for you!

Stephanie said...

Wow, everything can just be such a tangled confusing web sometimes, isn't it? It sounds like you're in a good place right now. I'm glad that you got some useful advice and that you're moving forward.

Smiling said...

That is great news!!! I totally see how that could be the clincher too. Yay!

TracyOC said...

I have nothing exciting going on personally but I think this post is very exciting. Can I just hijack some of your exciting news and add it to my internal list of awesome?

Hoping very hard that this is a go.

dana said...

Notwithstanding the scary parts, this is wonderful news, m. So excited for y'all to have found a match, and to be forging ahead...yes, definitely awesome!