What? No Shot?

Are you sure?

Do you mean it?

Do you really mean I don't have to contort myself into unnatural positions propped on pillows to poke my own butt tonight since hubby is at work?

That is frigging awesome.

Calliope said that the first night sans shot is divine. She's right.

So what am I doing with all this free time? Well, first I stuck my saran wrap back in the kitchen where it belongs. how nice to use it for wrapping cheese and other leftovers instead of the numbing cream on my *ss.

Now, I'm having my own private, pregnancy-craving dictated tailgate by myself on my living room floor. Honeycrisp apples (have you had these yet? They are the bomb!), cheddar cheese, and a huge bowl of cold sauerkraut. Oh hells yes. Fight on State!

At halftime, I'll sift through my free goodies bag I got from Motherhood.

You bet. I went there. Technically, I can still fit into most of my clothes. Most of the time, it's less than flattering. But the main impetus for the mall trip was my annual conference that's coming up in the end of October. I know that by then, me being able to wear all of my suits and business attire will be but a memory. I also know that this is probably the last work-free weekend I can count on between now and then. Things get intense. In other words, it was now or never.

The last time I waited until the last minute to pick up a few new things for conference, I ended up dashing to Ann Taylor Loft and pretty much purchasing anything I laid eyes on, threw it in the car and figured I'd figure it out when I got there. Of course, I ended up wearing and keeping 2 items and returning all the rest. I'm not willing to gamble like that with a figure that I am assuming will be less than easy to grab-n-go for.

So, my MIL graciously agreed to meet me at the mall and help me suss out some duds that would be suitable for work. Can I say we both started giggling uncontrollably at the sight of me and the "fake belly" they have in the dressing rooms to make sure the clothes will fit into the next few months? Wow. What a visual.

Evening Funnies

"So, are you ready to play Sid and Nancy?"

"???????"

"I am shooting you up tonight, right?"

Hardy har. Thanks hubby. Meanwhile, I am perplexed with this question: How am I supposed to be a good earthy crunchy when I need to purchase an entire package of saran wrap for the sheer purpose of wrapping the corner of my ass with it? Hmm?? Oh sure, some of you hearty ladies will tell me I can forgo the emla cream (and its requisite wrap) and go bareback for my PIO shots...

That's not gonna happen.