SAMFund

Surviving And Moving Forward: The SAMFund for Young Adult Survivors of Cancer has recently opened their 2007-2008 grant and scholarship application process. The grants and scholarships are for post-treatment, "real life" needs such as rent and other living expenses, tuition and loans, car and health insurance premiums, residual medical bills and prescription co-pays. The organization will provide up to $5,000 for fertility options/procedures. Applicants must be between 17 and 35, finished with treatment, and residents of the United States.

For more information and to download the application, please visit The SAMFund website.

Best believe I am applying.

Yawn

Weekend was sunny and fabulous. More on that later.

I'm delaying that post because it's all I can do to keep my eyes open right now. It's day 10 of Lupron and I think I am experiencing some extreme fatigue. Made it to the gym this morning, but barely. Did some light weight training hoping it would wake me up. No such luck. Stumbled home and back to sleep until hubby gently woke me in time to get ready for my morning meetings.

It's 3 pm and at least three times today, I found myself stumbling again, but on words. I was chatting with a co-working and for the life of me could not remember the word that means that time of day that someone is supposed to be at work, oh right, shifts. We're not talking rocket science here. I suddenly cannot remember words that are part of my daily vocabulary. And that is a HUGE problem when my job is all about communicating. With words.

I hope this goes away.

Contraband

In case you haven't noticed, I am a big fan of celebrating. Birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, remissions - all fair game.

Today is our fifth wedding anniversary. Nine years ago, I met hubby halfway across the globe even though we grew up just a couple of miles away from each other. We've been inseparable ever since. Awwww.....Disgusting. I know.

This weekend, we head out of town to help my awesome friend S and her hubby celebrate their new house. Ok, we missed the official house warming a few months ago. I never said I was timely.

This will be my first time traveling with my meds. All kinds of needles and drugs driving across state lines. Does that mean I'm moving weight across the tri-state, like Mobb Deep? Good times, man. Good times.

Can't wait to see you bubby.

To Put it Bluntly

Last night, hubby noticed some bruises on my leg and asked sincerely,

Honey, are you sure you're doing those shots right?

I had to laugh. Not at his concern but at the location of the bruises - my hip and my calf. nowhere near mid-thigh injection sites.

This goes to prove that after all of this angst about needles, its really me and blunt objects that have issues.

Day 6 of lupron shots. So far so good.

Figures

Doesn't it just figure. Just days after the "now don't take any meds without asking, especially antihistamines" talk with Nurse, my nose starts running like a faucet, my face swells and my teeth ache. Sinus infection? Great.

I've spent the day walking around with a roll of TP in hand, pieces of it shoved up my nostrils like some hideous face tampons because seriously, its that bad. The minute I stop blowing, drips of snot litter my path. Gross. I know.

I know I can take advil or tylenol or aleve, but I can't remember which one. I have an email into Nurse. In the meantime, any advice?

Update: a steaming hot shower helps. Definitely helps.

Google This?

Sometimes I toy with the idea of adding GoogleAds to my blog. Simply because I am so curious as to what products and services they would contextually connect to this subject. What would Google find as "relevant" to us ladies trying to have babies?

Pregnancy tests? Fertility clinics? Or would my potty mouth and discussion of bodily functions veer them in a different direction? Shall we try it?

Needles and Pins

It arrived today. Just like they said it would.

A big box of meds. And needles. Lots of needles.

Oy.

Have I mentioned my unhealthy fear of needles? Have we talked about that? I know poor hubby is sick of hearing about it.

I cried at our training yesterday afternoon. Not because anyone was doing anything cruel or unusual to me, I was just wigging out at the prospect of daily injections for the next four months. four months! And that's if everything goes well.

What's the problem? You're wondering. It's just a little prick and then it's done. And think of the potentially wonderful result!

Yes, yes. You are 100% correct. But that doesn't change the fact that the times in my life when I have been in the most pain, in the worst way, can all be attributed to needles. Blown veins. Bone marrow aspirations. Chemo sessions gone bad. Multiple attempts to insert IVs only to hit nerves and then watch as they try again. All of this shit that I have managed not to even think about over the last 20 years comes flooding back at the sight of those fucking bags of needles.

I know my girl Rae knows what I'm talking about.

My pal S, who somehow always says the right things to soothe me and get me thinking straight, said this to me a while back during one of my first needle freak outs: She reminded me that all of those other times were imposed upon me. I had no choice. It was someone else inflicting their cures and treatments on me.

This time, it's all me. It is my choice. My decision. And that in itself should be empowering.

It is. Kind of.

We invited our pal H to dinner last night. Ok, we called her up and forced her to meet us downtown so we could ask her a huge favor. H, you see, just graduated nursing school, is getting ready to pass her boards and is almost a fully qualified nurse. She also lives across the street from us. Both hubby and I knew we would feel better if she were willing and able to walk us through our first couple of big shots (not the Lupron. Don't think all of this is over the Lupron. Its the big "P" that has me shaking.)

This also meant that we had to expand our little circle of folks in the know. Which we feel a little better about now that things are actually happening. Out of the theoretical, into the logistical.

She was completed unsurprised when we told her we were trying to have a maybe baby (which surprised me). She was honored and thrilled at the idea of being asked to shoot me in the ass. She loves this kind of stuff. She, like S, did a lot to allay my fears. I can tell she and hubby are already planning a progesterone poking regiment.

We are also planning to spend some time together this weekend celebrating the great things that are happening in our lives. New career for H. New love interest for our mutual pal C. And possibly, maybe, you know what for us. Good times, man. Good times.