Wednesday, April 2, 2008

A Plan

I am hesitant to post because I don't want the jokes to stop!

Ladies, thank you. Thank you so much for sharing your worst. Wow. You didn't hold back did you? I think I need to print these all out right now and just have them. In my pocket. For when I need them. Like a talis(wo)man.

So what's next? Well, I let my body purge itself of these ungrateful b*stards (that's our pet name for them, you see), I walk around in my undies admiring my new lunapads, and get ready to start my next cycle. I should say mock cycle. One ending in a endometrial biopsy and a hysteroscopy to boot.

Yes, yes, I said it. I gave in. Because frankly, it does make sense now, doesn't it? Eggs were great (I can say that; They weren't mine). Fertilized great. Lining beefed up. Transfer was flawless. We didn't even need to tug on the stitch. So what's left but to "evaluate the uterine cavity"? That's how Nurse phrased it.

So what does one learn from an endometrial biopsy? It seems that we learn whether or not my uterus is to blame for all of this and whether or not she is just a little naughty and will be forced into compliance with a little more progesterone, or progesterone given a little differently, or if "childfree" will be one of the words that defines us. Adoption is not an option that we will explore and my ears practically shut themselves off when Nurse mentions the idea of a "carrier" for our remaining embryos should my uterus decide she'd rather act like Carrie with a capital C and keep on bleeding all over the place. I am just not there yet.

But I do appreciate the idea of hearing 1.) yes, you have a fair shot. Let's give this another go, or 2.) lady, we could pump you with more drugs than Jimi Hendrix and you are still not gonna flower into a pregnant goddess. I think I would appreciate knowing.

So, birth control pills begin soon, then lupron, then all know the routine. And then I get scopes and swabs. I asked Nurse to tell me more about the hysteroscopy and she said that most women do fine with just a numbing shot in the cervix (uncontrollable twinge). I reminded her that most women didn't pass the F out during their HSG.


"Oh yeah. That's right. Hmmm....I think I'll remind the docs of that and see what they want to do."

Oh hell yes. To be sedated for all of that scraping and scoping would be grand. Thanks, yes, please. See what you can do.


Lollipop Goldstein said...

I hope that there are good drugs involved, good, heavy drugs.

It's good to have a plan and to know rather than wonder. And I hope it's the answer you've been wishing for.

Lori Lavender Luz said...

I passed the F out at my HSG, too.

Praying to the sedation gods on your behalf.

Kami said...

No drugs or shot for the hysteroscope here. There was just some mild cramping as they turned on the juice (the saline to expand the uterus. Personally, I would skip the numbing shot to the cervix because THAT hurts, IMHO.

Glad you have some plans. You know, I think you will be fine. Good to check out, but as my RE said, "If we had many uterine issues, we wouldn't have an 80% live birth rate with DE"

Could still just be bad luck, right? I mean - even at 80%, 20% won't get pg. That's a big number if it is you.

I need to go read the other jokes now.

Anonymous said...

I don't have any bad jokes to add. Just an I'm sorry for your empty ute. Fing sucks. I will also be getting an endo biopsy, but I already had a hysteroscopy. It was painful/uncomfortable. They gave me Val*um, but I would opt for something stronger if I had to do it again. Like Val*im and a good pain killer...maybe Vic*din. I will be thinking about you sweetie.
XO Daisy

Anonymous said...

Hey, What kind of endometrial biopsy are you having? I don't know if you read my post about it. I have NOT had one, but I had it recommended to me. Is it the kind that will send the sample to Yale called an endometrial function test? If my post.

Dagny said...

I just have to say I am glad I was out cold for all that stuff.

Good luck, and I hope you get lots of good, good drugs.

~Hollie said...

This ART thing is a game. Got to find out what meds/combo works for you. I hope that you get your combo figured out soon!