Saturday, February 28, 2009

2 Years? And She's Still Talking??

I turned on my computer this morning and noticed I had this blank reminder on my computer. Just a little tag reminding me to remember. It took me a minute and then I did.

Today is my 2-year blogoversary.

HFS. Holy. F*cking. Shit. Two years? Two years.

I'm still feeling quiet (but hopeful) so instead of getting too wordy, I think I'll just point you to a pretty decent summary of where we've been recently. And let you know how things went yesterday:

successful surgery.
all "retained tissue" removed.
NO SCARRING. NO ADHESIONS.

Now how fucking cool is that? It is great news. Really great news! It's like after weeks and weeks of stress. After several really hard conversations with M. After more marital and mental stress than I can ever, EVER recall, we can breathe a little sigh of relief. Of course, there's the little issue of getting pregnant that remains, but now we know it is still a possibility.

And that is a fucking big deal.

I'm still trying to get my head around it. It's like I spent so long resigning myself to this particular future, and now I don't have to. At least not yet. It's like bracing yourself for the punch that didn't connect, but you're still there, face scrunched, teeth gritting, waiting for it. I need to unclench my teeth.

And get ready for the next round.

Which will probably happen in a couple of months - after I get this balloon out of my cooch, do about a month of estrogen to heal my endometrium, get some sort of scan to make sure everything is clean and clear (maybe an HSG, maybe a sono, so many choices....) and then have a "normal" period. Then we try again.

It's funny. When I first started blogging, I couldn't really understand the women who were on their 6th, 7th, 8th IVF attempt. I didn't get that the closer you get to having a baby in your arms, the more desperately you want to try to get there again. No, I never thought we would get lucky in one go. But I also didn't see this journey stringing out this long either. Not without something to show for it. Now I am just thankful for the opportunity to be able to try again.

And speaking of being addicted to hope, Tertia's book So Close: Infertile and Addicted to Hope
is finally available in the States. Mel is holding a virtual Book Shower for her. Me, I am waiting patiently for my copy to arrive in the mail.

23 comments:

Brenna said...

Happy anniversary! And even HAPPIER news--oh, I'm so glad for you all that the surgery went well and that you're cleared to try again.

Mo and Will said...

m,

Nice to hear from you! And happy 2 year blogoversary! So glad to hear that the surgery was successful and that you'll be able to move forward. That is fantastic news. Let the fact sink in in the next few days. Look forward to following your cycle when your endometrium is healed and you get back to it : )

Mo

Sarah said...

So glad and relieved to hear about the surgery results. Talk to you soon,
Sarah

Anonymous said...

So glad to hear from you. Fingers crossed. Hang in there!

Mick said...

It's wonderful to hear that the surgery went okay.

It's also great that you are optimistic. Keep it up.

Two years! Wow. I've only been doing it for two months. Congratulations to you!

Barbara said...

So happy that the potential is still there. I'm willing good things your way soon.

Glad you're still blogging after two years, not so glad that you're still blogging about this particular journey.

xxx

What IF? said...

Happy 2-year blogoversary and congratulations with the successful surgery. I'm so happy for you that there's still hope. Take it easy, and rest up.

Lori said...

Happy blogoversary! I am so glad we found each other.

Glad you got the best news possible.

Keep it coming!

Dani819 said...

Whew! That's the best news I've heard in a while. So glad to hear that this particular weight is off your shoulders.

Ryan's Mommy said...

Yippee! Wishing you a healed and healthy uterus, very soon.

nancy said...

Happy Blogoversary!!! 2 years! yay!!

And a big congrats on your surgery results. Right on!

Amy said...

Happy Blogoversary! I'm so glad the surgery went well. Even though you've been quiet, know I'm still thinking of you.

Chhandita said...

Thats such good news girl!! I am happy for u...

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Happy blogoversary. I'm so glad that the surgery went well. That last paragraph made me feel very quiet--the juxtaposition of what you thought starting out and where you are two years down the road.

Cara said...

Happy Blogoversary...late!

What a milestone you have reached both with numbers and in your fertility journey.

Great news!!!!

mlg- believe N miracles said...

Happy blogoversary! That is grat news that the surgery went well. I totally understand the feeling of wanting to try again b/c the closer you get you just cant give up, I am there.

Anonymous said...

:) sweet. L.

dana said...

Happy Blogoversary!!

And that IS fanfuckingtastic news about your surgery!! :)

Monique said...

Great news and so happy for you.

Duck said...

Glad the surgery went well! Yup I totally get not knowing how long the road will be, and hope is addictive, and we have lots of it directed your way.

Kami said...

Happy anniversary to you! I am glad you have reason to hope again too. It's funny how it goes . . .I remember doing the same thing about people trying so hard to have a baby and one day I realized I had become one of those people.

lostintranslation said...

Very belated congrats on your blogoversary and great news that the surgery was successful! BTW, I gave you two blog awards: the Sisterhood and the Honest Scrap Award. Do with them what you like... :-)

Coming2Terms said...

so, So, SO behind on my reading. Wishing you a belated happy blogoversary...glad to hear your surgery went well...

oxoxoxoxoxo

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