Today is my 2-year blogoversary.
HFS. Holy. F*cking. Shit. Two years? Two years.
I'm still feeling quiet (but hopeful) so instead of getting too wordy, I think I'll just point you to a pretty decent summary of where we've been recently. And let you know how things went yesterday:
successful surgery.
all "retained tissue" removed.
NO SCARRING. NO ADHESIONS.
Now how fucking cool is that? It is great news. Really great news! It's like after weeks and weeks of stress. After several really hard conversations with M. After more marital and mental stress than I can ever, EVER recall, we can breathe a little sigh of relief. Of course, there's the little issue of getting pregnant that remains, but now we know it is still a possibility.
And that is a fucking big deal.
I'm still trying to get my head around it. It's like I spent so long resigning myself to this particular future, and now I don't have to. At least not yet. It's like bracing yourself for the punch that didn't connect, but you're still there, face scrunched, teeth gritting, waiting for it. I need to unclench my teeth.
And get ready for the next round.
Which will probably happen in a couple of months - after I get this balloon out of my cooch, do about a month of estrogen to heal my endometrium, get some sort of scan to make sure everything is clean and clear (maybe an HSG, maybe a sono, so many choices....) and then have a "normal" period. Then we try again.
It's funny. When I first started blogging, I couldn't really understand the women who were on their 6th, 7th, 8th IVF attempt. I didn't get that the closer you get to having a baby in your arms, the more desperately you want to try to get there again. No, I never thought we would get lucky in one go. But I also didn't see this journey stringing out this long either. Not without something to show for it. Now I am just thankful for the opportunity to be able to try again.
And speaking of being addicted to hope, Tertia's book So Close: Infertile and Addicted to Hope
is finally available in the States. Mel is holding a virtual Book Shower for her. Me, I am waiting patiently for my copy to arrive in the mail.