Monday, February 8, 2010

Please

Tell me.

What does one do when the waves of bad news and heartbreaking statements simply

do.
not.
stop.

What does one do? What am I supposed to do. Please, someone. Tell me.

Tell me how to share this news with my beloved husband, someone who, on a good day, is not quite sure why he's getting out of bed and pretending. Pretending anything matters now that his daughters are dead and every

single

chance

of trying again just reveals more and more layers of bad news. How am I supposed to do this?

**

I know things cannot be as bad as they seem right now. But right now, damn.

I thought grief and all that comes with it was supposed to happen in waves. How can I catch my breathe if there is no ebb and flow?

I am waiting for a free pass here. Waiting for some divine intervention to tap fate on the shoulder and say, "now, now, don't you think m's had enough? Why don't you let them alone for a while?"

Please, fate. (chance, circumstance, gods, whatEVER) Please leave us alone. At least long enough to lick our wounds before you inflict more.

Please.

37 comments:

Expectant Duck said...

Hugs. I have no idea when or how or why and I hope that everything is okay.

Barbara said...

Shit. Whatever it is I hope it fucks off and leaves you alone... Universe? You listening? STOP IT!

Hugs

xxx

Lavender Luz said...

I am echoing your words.

"Now, now, don't you think M and m have had enough? Why don't you let them alone for a while?"

Please?

Sue said...

Hoping for relief for you. Hoping things get better.

Thinking of you.

jill said...

*hug*

Thinking of you and sending lots of the above.

TracyOC said...

Hope whatever it is buggers off and leaves you in peace. Sending positive energy and good wishes your way.

jenicini said...

Exactly. {hugs}

angie said...

No words. Just here, sending love, flicking off the universe and simultaneously sacrificing a proverbial goat to the volcano gods, just in case. xo

Kate said...

Ditto.
Hope this run of badness is broken very soon by good news. It's so disheartening when there's not even a little glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

Dani819 said...

Damn. I wish I knew. Already lighting big bonfires over here so I can look scary and mean and send the gods of sucky news far, far away. Will blow some "Leave the M's alone" smoke up there while I'm at it. Hugs to you.

Anonymous said...

Wishing you the respite from bad news that you undeniably deserve.

Sue said...

What now?!! I'm so sorry - you are definitely overdue for some good news.

Stacie said...

I am shaking my fist at fate for you. Damn it fate, just give m a break already!

While I haven't walked in your shoes, I do know a thing or two about having the universe shit on your face time after time. I am so sorry for all of it. I am sending hugs.

Two Shorten the Road said...

:( :(

annacyclopedia said...

I don't know.

But I am asking the universe to give you both a break and beaming love in your direction.

FET Accompli said...

Sending hugs. I second what Barbara says.

theluckylife said...

I'm so sorry to hear this, whatever it is, I really hope it goes away. If it makes you feel any better, just about everyone I know had a REALLY bad day yesterday (myself included, I came THIS close to posting that I'm done. No more TTC). No matter how bad it gets, you WILL survive this. You will, I promise.

Mo and Will said...

Ugh. Holding you both in my thoughts. Let up already, universe!

Mo

Jessica said...

*huge hugs* I will pray for peace for you.

Bluebird said...

I'm sorry honey. SO sorry, for whatever it is. And hoping so hard that you catch a break soon. You and m both. You deserve it.

((Hugs))

musicmakermomma said...

Can't a girl catch a break?! Sorry you are stuck in the place of badness, hope things look up soon. Thinking of you.

Smiling said...

Oh M... how can the universe possibly think to dump more crap on you two... No idea how to share such news with your husband...

Thinking of you... begging for some respite for you both... I want with all my heart for the tide to turn so you can catch your breath and start building your sand castles without another wave coming to fuck it up again. So sorry M. You've more than earned a bit of kindness from fate.

Infertility Warrior said...

Nothing I can say to make it better - except that I hear you and wish the universe would give you a break. Keep holding on.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Oh hon, I am holding you in my heart.

Delenn said...

Abiding with you. Thinking of you.

Michele said...

holding you in thoughts...

niobe said...

Dear Universe: We all get it. Really we do. You don't need to keep reminding us.



Thinking of you.

Ryan's Mommy said...

Oh, ouch. I'm keeping you and M in my thoughts.

Universe - enough already! ENOUGH.

biojen said...

Here from LFCA

If the hugs aren't enough - how about a lot of vodka? I'm sorry and I'm thinking of you, I hope it gets better.

Kami said...

Shaking my fist at whatever gods/powers/chaos is out there.

I don't know how you survive. One breath at a time, I guess.

Mick said...

Oh, christ. Sigh.

Thinking of you...

tireegal68 said...

I'm sorry there is more suckitude in your lives. that is so not fair and the universe has got it all wrong.
Sending hugs and hope for better things.

Busted Kate said...

I'm so sorry, I wish there was anything I could say. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your DH.

jrs said...

Thinking of you.

ezra'smommy said...

abiding with you. big hugs

Catherine W said...

I'm with Barbara. Hoping for that free pass for you and M.

LJ said...

Hoping whatever is wrong gets the heck away from you guys. Enough is enough.

Google