Tuesday, August 30, 2011

An Omen Interpreted

Yesterday morning I got up and went for a run. Did you have a chance to go outside yesterday? Here, it was glorious. A perfect, recently-washed, cool but sunny morning. Since my phone is busted (read: since I dropped my droid in the terlit) I don't have my runkeeper to take along, which means I have to just run. No waiting for the smooth monotone voice telling me my average pace or surprising me with distance traveled every five minutes. Nothing to do but run and breathe and think.

And then, up ahead of me, I see a dude squatting at a strange angle. My first thought, oh he's trying to get a nice picture of the sunrise. Because the river truly was lovely yesterday morning. Glassy. Perfectly reflective. But wait. No camera. Hmm. Then he straightens up and goes to the nearest trash bin and picks a large piece of paper from it.

Then he drops his pants to his ankles and wipes his ass.

Right there.

Me, incredulous. And gagging. Seriously dry heaving as I try to pick up my pace and get past the foul as quickly as possible. Part of me truly feels for the guy. At what point do you get to basic survival mode? At what point do you decide that you can't be hassled with dignity? Part of me is thankful that for all our bitching, I have not been reduced to wiping my ass with newspaper on a public walkway. The rest of me was just thoroughly pissed that this dude ruined my morning with his hairy ass and rank feces.

I get home and of course text M immediately. "WTF!?! Is this some sort of omen? A Sign?" I demand.

"Out with the bad...." he replies.

Ok. I'll take that.


Do I Have to Be a D.I.N.K.? said...

Gross - sorry you had to witness that on your nice morning jog!

jill said...

Ugh what an experience :( Sorry that ruined your morning jog. While I have sympathy for the person in that situation, I think (unless he's mentally ill) he should still be expected to have some consideration for other people around him.

dana said...

oh, man. that's just...sad, honestly. there was a lot of that when i visited morocco last year (we were warned but i was like, ha ha that's so funny!...it was not.

sorry your lovely run was ruined. and a serious LOL at M's reply.

Anonymous said...

It can be hard to find a place to take care of that particular need, I think. I had an experience like this once, too, and as sorry as I felt for the woman, who was obviously in dire straits, it was not pleasant.

Elaine VanDRiver said...

Now that was a visual! Woof!