Tuesday, June 12, 2012

What? It's June?

Ahem, hi.

So a few weeks ago I wrote a post for BlogHer (I'm telling you this to prove I'm not a complete slacker) and I had this great idea this morning to try to prove (or disprove) one of the things I said there:
as I realized there was more than my own set of eyes looking at my words, those words evolved. I evolved. Word clouds morphed from “I” and “me” to “us” and “we” to “you” and “yins.” Clicking on comments took me other people’s words which took me to other people’s words and I found my way into a community that didn’t exist at that time in my physical world. A community I care about and love and whose members have found their way into my physical world.
Now the second part I know is true. But what about the first? What would a word cloud of my blog right now today look like compared to the one I did two years ago? That one looked like this:

Would it really look much different today? Have I evolved as I claimed (hoped)? Am I more community-driven? Turned more outward than in? More attuned to my readers (says the girl who hasn't posted in a month)??

The answer? Uh, I dunno.

Because damned if I can locate the cloud generator that I liked so much that helped me create the first one. Sure there are tons out there, but I want this one. A good blogger would have sourced it the first time around....

So, no cool social experiment to kick start my return. I'm afraid you'll just have to settle for a quick and dirty update (i.e. the answer to "where the @#$% have you been??")

  • May and June are for me what February and March are for my accountant and CPA pals. A deadline is looming. Shit never happens until the last minute, much of which is out of one's control (although there is this hope, this dream, that it's not). Yes, friends, it's state budget time. Early mornings, late nights, lots of rumor and hearsay and wringing of hands, positioning, worrying, waiting....loving that I am a little deeper into the process than I've ever been before, albeit still way out in the periphery; not loving that this process is a little messy, and unsavory, and set up in a way that the good guys don't always win. For better or for worse, June 30 will relieve me of some major time commitments. Phew.
  • Thanks so much for all of your thoughts and well-wishes.  How is dad? To be honest, dad is a royal pain in the ass. The window of cheerful and funny seems to have closed and now he's back to his normal, self-pitying "everyone has more money than me, everyone feels better than me" self. Waaaah.
  • If you think I'm being heartless, I will give you gas money to DE so you can go see for yourself. Yes, he has cancer. No, it's not going to get better. But newsflash, he has a fuck lot more than most people. The chemo isn't making him ill. At all. He suffers from fevers and chills, but no other physical discomfort. My mom hasn't killed him yet. And if you have a roof over your head, food in your belly, a family that (is trying really damn hard to) love you, I really think you should find just a little piece of your day to be thankful. No?
someecards.com - You had a bad day? Did a naked man eat your face? No? Then shut the fuck up with your shit!

  • Life is good! Hey, when dad gets too pouty, there is a beach to escape to. A beach that I actually wear a bathing suit to, because I can. Because...
  • It's week 9 of P90X, bitches!  Down about 12 pounds but feeling maybe just a little buff. We are officially down to the weight and fitness levels we achieved going into IVF #1. Five. Years. Ago.
  • Sorry, I just got a little dizzy with that last thought.
  • The Afghan Whigs are touring together for the first time in fifteen years this summer and fall. Like right now. Bet your ass I am going to at least one show.  I don't care how much M teases, Greg Dulli rocks my world. And makes me cry. And maybe a little bit randy.
  • yes, of course I save the best for last. It's on! 
  • On like donkey kong! 
  • Contract is finalized, much to everyone's relief. And thank you, again and again, for those of you who assured me this was the worst part. I'm hoping it is.
  • Our surrogate is on day 5 of lupron and fighting her way through some migraines that often come with that lovely drug.
  • After a hysteroscopy and some bloodwork, I've been cleared to go along for the ride. I get to skip lupron and go straight to estrogen pills. Which I am popping right now.
  • Me and my surrogate, we are cycle sisters and we are aiming for transfer(s) the first or second week of July (see how that fits nicely into my "after June 30, my life will be mine again" calendar?)
That's what up, homies!

How are you? 


JW Moxie said...

I've fallen out of the reading loop and I have a lot to get caught up on -- are you saying that you and your surrogate are doing dual transfers? Awesome. I've seen that happen a few times before with success on both sides. I'm so happy that you have crossed all of the technical and legal hurdles of beginning a surrogacy journey! I won't fall behind now. I'm so, so excited for you!

Carla said...

psferentIt will be amazing (and crazy) if both of you get pregnant! That would be an awesome journey to experience together. SO nice to see an update. Excited for you!

Carla said...

umm..ignore that 1st part....i was proving i was not a robot. i wondered why i had to type it twice. ;)

Mo said...

I am SOOO happy for you that you will be tandem cycling - and so soon!! This is fabulous news. Continuing to keep you and your dad and your hubby in my thoughts.


Nadine said...

Yea! Exciting news about surrogacy! Contract is mostly the crapiest part, there will be other crap but that will be crap that you can work throguh.

Re-your Dad, we don't get to choose our family, my sister makes me insane with anger(she "suffers! Woe is her).

Concentrate on the good.

Nadine said...

Your robin the p90, 12 pounds in 9 weeks! Bring it.

(week 6, maybe 4 pounds, but I'm not following the diet, I can't give up carbs, need them to run!).

Nadine said...

That's you rock, not you robin.

m said...

Hi guys! Wow, I almost forgot the best part about blogging - comments!!

Yep, we are planning for a dual transfer, IF my lining cooperates and IF there is an embryo left over from the thaw. We just wanted to be ready in case we found ourselves with an embryo to spare.

It would definitely be an awesome journey - it's been fun and reassuring so far. And please know, I know my transfer is a long shot. We are really focused on our surrogate and making sure the timing is what works for her. I'm seriously just along for the ride in a WTFN kind of sense.

@Carla, I'm glad you're not a robot. :-) Aren't those catchpa things total pains?

@Nadine, I'm definitely not following the diet and I sense our gains (or losses, rather) would be better if we were, but being veggie makes it a little harder and since we borrowed the series from a friend, we don't have the diet book anyway...those are my excuses. We did, however, drop the pizza and fries and more recently, all alcohol. I really thought I would see a dramatic drop once I gave up my evening glass of wine...no dice. Not yet anyway.

Concentrating on the good. I am, I am!

Heather said...

12 pounds is huge! Think of 12 one pound packs of butter - that is what you got rid of. Way to go!

The tandem cycle was a suprise to me and makes it all so much more exciting, if that is possible. Yeah, slim chances, but still it's an extra chance.

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I think your dad should go and hang out with my parents. They could have one hell of a party complaining about the many many ways life gave them the shaft.

Lori Lavender Luz said...

I read this in the parking lot at the gym and had to explain to passersby why I was jumping up and down.

Wonderful update! Well, except for the part about driving to DE to check on your Dad. But I even snickered a bit at your snark. Hehe.

Two Shorten the Road said...

Yeah! Great news! Fingers crossed. :)

Lollipop Goldstein said...

A lot happening here, chica. So excited on the surrogacy front.

Damn, that word cloud experiment would have been brilliant. Though would it keep taking into account all your past posts too? If only you could section it out for each year.

Anonymous said...

Found you from.. gosh I dont know who... but just wanted to say hi. You have some really big things coming up! I cant wait to read more about your surrogacy and tandem transfer. All the best!

dana said...

I'm sorry for the sucky situation with your Dad. I wish it were different, for him, and for you.

Dual transfers? Holy hell. This is so exciting! xx

Dora said...

Wow! Double transfers! And so soon! So exciting. Hoping hard this is the cycle with the happy ending.

Julia said...

Hi! Long time and all that. So glad to read all your news. Minus the dad news, of course. But I too loved the snark there.

The word cloud looked like a wordle. I recently made one for Monkey purposes (it went on a cool item I made for her team, but not the point). So if it's a wordle, it lives here: http://www.wordle.net

Anyway, I am ridiculously excited for your news, especially the WTHN part of it. :) And wishing you a relatively not crazy last week of the crazy budget season. A girl can dream, right?

Oh, and the P90X thing. I am impressed. I finally did Insanity last summer, even though I'd had the DVDs for about 2 years beforehand. P90X looks a bit more insane than mine. But I loved what Insanity did for me, even if I thought I was going to croak a few times, especially in the early weeks. I barely lost any weight at all, and certainly nowhere near your current total (didn't connect until nearly the very end that metformin I was taking was likely interfering with any possible weightloss.. oh, well). But I did shed inches, and develop definition in places I'd long forgotten could have any. My point, if I can locate it with two hands and a flashlight, is that you rock. But then again, I totally knew that already.