Childhood cancer survivor. That's the good news. Bad news? Chemo and radiation zapped my eggs leaving me infertile. Egg donors were found, several attempts were made and finally we were blessed with beautiful twin girls - born too early (21 wks, 5 days on Dec. 5, 2008). Hang out with me while we savor life with Big Baby Boy, who arrived via gestational surrogate on March 25, 2013.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Wow, that's a long post....
I am swimming in a sea of post-it notes! Gone cross-eyed from the chessboard that is my calendar. Up to my ears in projects, tasks and good intentions spanning work, personal and baby-making life and getting absolutely nothing done.
Sometimes (when it suits her) my boss will sigh and say, perfection is the enemy of good. As in, we try so hard to get something just right, we end up not accomplishing anything at all. This happens a lot in my office and alas, I think its a habit that I have acquired. In my quest to wax literary about all the good things happening lately, to turn them into sweet little vignettes both poignant and funny, it seems I am left staring at a blank page.
All of this to say, sorry for not posting. Here's what's new:
Hubby and I jumped in the car after work last Monday and drove down to Slower Lower Delaware to assist my folks in assembling their computer, look for a house and oh yes, get some sun. The first night there, I got myself worked up about the perceived cold shoulder I felt I was getting from the clinic and couldn't get back to sleep. First thing the next morning, I sent Nurse a very plain email - What's up? Call me!
And she did.
And that started a flurry of phone calls from her, the clinic, the pharmacy, the financial person at the clinic (of course) and before you know it, I am on day five of lupron injections, trying to get back on the wellness track (more exercise, less beer. more pilates, less stress. happy womb, happy womb.....) waiting patiently for our donor to have her monthly flow.
Once she bleeds (which should be within the next week or so), we will begin a whole new protocol using ganarelix and follistim - one that will allow the docs to know right away whether or not she will respond to artificial stimulation. While last time felt planful and almost too leisurely, this time, if all goes well, we are looking for a retrieval and transfer around 14 days after she begins stim. Wow.
Let's assume her period is regular, my uterine liner gets all plump and juicy and her follicles are in a frenzy to produce, that would put us around Sept. 15th for the transfer, approx. two months after we had originally planned.
So, yes, it's been a busy week! We only had a few days at the beach since we had to get back to work on Thursday. Friday we provided moral support to hubby's cousin who had an informal high school reunion and Saturday we spent mingling with 70+ members and 4 generations of hubby's family at a good ole fashioned family reunion. That was humbling.
You see, our families are pretty used to hubby and I making big announcements. PS, we're moving to another country. Oh yeah, we're quitting our jobs and traveling for a few years. Hey, we're writing a book. (I'm cringing at that last one as it is among the pile of post it notes). But this time around, our lips were sealed.
"So, what's new with you guys? Anything exciting in the works? Any big plans?"
"Um, no. Nope. Things are pretty quiet these days." and then we would slink off to find more food. It was like Easter dinner all over again.
But besides that, the reunion was good in some ways, not so good in others. We all had a good time while we were there and hubby and I even stole some cousins for a night out on the town. But Sunday saw hubby's mom super sad and missing her mom who passed away a few years ago, his dad drowning in self-pity since his family now consists of us and his one aunty whose health is failing, hubby in an all around funk and me pondering questions of identity, definitions of family, the relevance of blood lines and genes both for myself and my future maybe baby. There are no easy answers, are there? Thank goodness there are books.
Labels: anticipation, family, preparation
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Cycling together again? Of course, the last cycle didn't happen for either of us, but this time it is all green lights, right? Isn't it amazing that we will be actually doing it this time, and nearly at the same time? This is bigger than both of us. It must be fate! I couldn't be happier!! Today is my CD1. Hopefully the last one I will have in 10 months(fingers crossed).
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