Friday, January 25, 2008

Wish I Had Better News

But I don't. It's a negative. A BFN.

And actually, telling folks is the hardest part. Harder than anything. Sharing the grief is so much worse than keeping it between us. Esp. when our circle of support has been so supportive. But there's not too many to tell, and hopefully, we're known for dealing with adversity ok.

Different people deal with grief differently. What I need, what helps me the most, is a lot of four letter words in creative combinations. Somehow, I would rather hear "FUCK! That fucking blows donkey balls!" than, "I'm really sorry." Even though the sentiment is more or less the same. So, if you have any favorite four-lettered combos, or hubby's favorite (leftover from life as a substitute teacher) words that are so close to expletives but not enough to get you suspended, I would LOVE to hear them.

Next steps: So many of you unfortunately know this routine. All meds stop. Wait for a bleed. Go back on birth control. Reassess for next cycle. Which, yes, I think we are going to try. But the one question we have is, how will next time be different than this time?


Tracy said...

FARK. That sucks so much. I'm SOOOO sorry. Beyond sorry. My heart is heavy for you.

Anonymous said...

i believe a course in creative cussing should be mandatory for any college student. here is a sampling that you might want to use today:

sh*t and shinola. (my grandma's favorite)

jesus h. christ on a popsicle stick!

ah sh*t! (my daughter's go to and a classic, I must say)

ok this one makes me laugh:
“Don’t make me drag you around on the crushed stones until your bung hole smokes.”

dang nabbit ned flanders

Balls in your mouth, you assclownin' chucklemonkey!

what the french!!! toast (instead of what the f*ck)

"Holy flurking schnit!" ("The Simpsons").

“Sh*t the bed, Ethel!”

You sweet-stealing corn-f*cking a*s-bagger!" (

(from, you favorite co worker)

Lori Lavender Luz said...

That freakin' bites.


Is it OK to send you a hug?

Waiting Amy said...

F*ck, sh*t, d*amn! I much prefer the cursing route too.

Next time WILL be different, because they are different embryos. You have lots of good chances in that freezer. I have to believe that one will change your life.

Drowned Girl said...

I;'m so sorry. But remember our fresh cycle was a BFN, while the FET gave us twins!

Good luck in the way forward. Don't give up


Anonymous said...

Oh God, that sucks hardcore balls, friend. But I do agree with Waiting Amy's very well-put do have many chances left and it will indeed only take one to change everything. Be gentle on yourself and do something fun this weekend. My thoughts are with you.

Stacie said...

Oh no! It just sucks, and I am so sorry. I wanted this for you so much.

Sending hugs.

Happy said...

That sucks the big fat purple veiny ween!

Summer said...

I'm just catching up on your posts. I'm so sorry for the BFN.