Sunday, November 30, 2008

Me and My Areolas

[NOTE: This post could turn out to be a bit more graphic than most here. If that's not your thing, might I recommend closing your browser and stopping by later this week?]

I know that some women love being pregnant. I know that others are absolutely horrified by what becomes of their bodies as other bodies grow inside of them. Can I just say that I am absolutely fascinated by all of it?

Not that I look at my dark, DARK areolas that seem to be infesting my entire chest and go, "oh man, that's hot." But I think there is something about witnessing the changes that occurred to my body through cancer and chemo and radiation and then (thankfully) watching my body recuperate and, for the most part, recover, that gives me a little bit of appreciative distance to these current events. Dark areolas are not nearly as traumatic as unintentionally pulling out clumps of hair.

More observations:

For the first time in my life, my belly is a source of pride and wonder and not the "weakest link" of my physique. Gone are the days of clever wardrobe disguise and dressing so that eyes barely notice my midriff. Gone! Now, I will happily lift my shirt to any passerby. No, really.

Gone are the days when, "hey, you look like you've put on some weight," is worthy of a punch. I am still a little (just a little) concerned about the lack of my gut (shouldn't it be bigger by now?) so these words now get a heartfelt thank you.

I have no fear of stretch marks. I already have a ton from losing weight too quickly in the days of C. The addition of any more would be seen as things finally coming around full circle.

I should probably tone down my, "hey, have you seen my boobs lately? They're huge!" remarks. It seems that this causes some folks to blush and perhaps not everyone is as enamored with my new body shape as I am. (but they should be). I've noticed that the growth of my midriff and boobs finally put the rest of me into proportion. I rarely notice the flab on my upper arms that no amount of push ups took off or the fact that my butt is so, so flat. I have never been too obsessed with body image, but I can honestly say, for the first time ever, I love my body.

[week 21]


Anonymous said...

Hey, if you can love your aerolas, more power to ya! :)

Personally, I hated being pregnant -- everything about it. But I love that you're enjoying it! That makes me smile.

Wait until you get to eight months, baby -- the sex is hot! ;)


Melbagirl said...

I love it that you are proud of your body! If I was preggers I'd keep looking in the mirror!

Lori Lavender Luz said...

So wonderful to read that you're so happy, and that you're celebrating your body.


Anonymous said...

You absolutely amaze me! :) I love that you are loving your body so much! I love it too!!! In an "oh my gosh that's so cool!" girlfriend kinda way of course. ;) I think you look FABULOUS and I can't wait to see how things continue to develop!

And I love that you just put it all out there. Seriously. It rocks. =)

Loving you - and your boobs!


Skerry said...

I love your post. When I was pregnant with my kids ages and ages ago I too found my body utterly facinating and did not hesitate to share TMI with anyone that would listen. I am so happy for you that things are progressing smoothly. :)

Anonymous said...

Yes, it's wonderful, isn't it? I'm so glad you're enjoying it!

Fate's Granddaughter said...

I am going to take a leaf out of your book - what a wonderful way to look at yourself right now.

I must admit, I have been struggling with my sudden (and extremely rapid) weight gain and need to do a bit more embracing.

Thanks for reminding me how amazing this all is!

nancy said...

You know what the best part of this post is? That BlogHer put this in their list of blogs to look at. Every person in the IF blogworld with a BlogHer ad up on their blog has THIS post hyperlinked from their site.


I love this post though. I feel the same way you do. Different details, of course, but I love my pregnant body. I have to walk a fine line with hubby though, as he tends to freak out a bit in the making love department as I get bigger. So most of the time I sit with him on the sofa at night as he rests his hand on my belly, feeling our son move and kick. But then there are other times I want him to pretend there is no belly there and I want him to do me!

Anonymous said...

you better enjoy the areolas cuz 5 months post partum mine are still dark as all get out. gives kai something to aim at! lol.
i see that you are having girls. where the hell have I been? sheesh. this baby has rocked my world.
do you facebook? let me know....