Thursday, November 4, 2010

Day 20 - Hobby

Day 20 - a hobby of yours and how it changed since your loss.

Once upon a time, M, M's mom and I would meet every Thursday night at a local chain restaurant for "mom's night out." A tradition that began as a morale boost in bad times (that weren't even related to baby-making) and carried well into my pregnancy. A weekly event that lasted at least 3 years with seldom a skipped week.

We would order discounted beers, half-priced apps and beat the shit out of the entire bar playing NTN Trivia. You know, those little blue box things? Yeah, we kicked ass. Seriously. We would play individually and one of us could guarantee a top 10 spot on just about any game. I'm not trying to brag. But we were unstoppable. We won T-shirts, a weekend to Atlantic City. We ruled.

But the last time we were there, right after I finally confessed why I had been sipping on cranberry seltzers for months and months, I went into labor.

Only I didn't know it.

I remember calling the person on call and explaining my symptoms, being told to "just relax" and "go home and take a bath." Call in the am if it got worse. I remember M silent on the drive home, already freaking, already jumping to conclusions while I tried to convince myself and him that this was just braxton-hicks. All would be well. We called his mom and said I was taking a bath. We'll be fine. She was relieved.

The next time we talked to her was to tell her our daughters, her grandchildren, were dead.

She went back to the chain restaurant a few weeks later to let our favorite staff and regulars know.

We've never been back.


bibc said...

when i was first pregnant we did the same thing, minus the kickass game. T, my mom and i went to a bar every wed nite and drank/had fun/ate terrible food. everyone there knew about me right away bc ivf put so much weight on me i looked preg from the very start. i didnt go into labor there, i wish i knew where i was when that happened. i certainly was found sitting on the floors of many big box/grocery stores in the days prior. but we have never been back. i dont think i could.
id love to read more about your children, im off to comb your archives.

Heather said...

I like hearing about the girls too.

My bad spot is the local children's museum. I was there with my then 3 year old, knowing that the pregnancy wasn't going to end well. We hadn't officially been told, but I knew. Another mother saw my pregnant self and wanted to have a long talk about all things labor and newborn. It was such a painful discussion. A day later we learned our son would die very soon. I did go back, because my daughter loved the place, but the room of the 'conversation' still gives me chills.

Hope's Mama said...

I hate the "just relax and have a bath" advice. I got that as well. Didn't get me very far either.