http://chronicle.com/article/article-content/125242/
There is so much I like about this article, but mostly I applaud its balance. And I especially appreciate when someone takes a sentiment that is familiar to me and makes it coherent and even poetic:
August's disability does not form a part of "God's plan" and does not serve as a tool for God to teach me or anyone else wisdom. What kind of a God would it be, anyway, to deprive my boy of speech and movement just to instruct me? A cruel and arbitrary God. August's disabilities are not a blessing; but neither are they a divine curse. To traffic in a cosmic economy of blessings and curses is to revert to an ancient prejudice. Indeed, even though August's disabilities offer ample opportunity for public interpretation, they do not mean anything at all in and of themselves—they have no intrinsic significance. They simply are what they are.Some things simply are what they are.
6 comments:
Oh, boy- lessons, g-d's will, part of the big plan... I can't get my head around that stuff, nor do I really want to try. Things just being what they are- now, that I get. Or at least I try to.
Yes. I will never be a "things happen for a reason" kind of person. They just, don't. I see no reason why a child should be here and isn't.
I remember seeing this old hippie driving around town years ago with a custom-made bumper sticker that said, "My Child Is." He'd cut off the piece that said "an honors student at blah blah blah." I was teaching in a charter school at the time with a classroom full of kids with special needs and I remember thinking that it was so refreshing to see a parent with the right idea. It is what it is...so true.
I am a deeply religious person, and even I don't understand why people say to me, "It's God's will" "There is a lesson to be learned" blah, blah, blah. I don't believe that. I don't belive God takes babies away to teach us a lesson. I don't believe he kills children to punish people (at one time I felt like I was being punished). I think it just happens. Such is life. It's been almost three years and to this day I still can't find a lesson in or a reason for my daughter's stillbirth. I can't find a "lesson" in being unable to concieve again either. That's because there is no lesson to be learned. As you said, it is what it is.
Hear, hear.
I was recently told about the book When Bad Things Happen to Good People and I kinda like the theory that it's all really just random. Because I, too, can't believe that there's a reason or all that crap. I just really can't believe that. Why one person goes through sexual assault and just terrible, terrible things - there's NO reason for that.
Anyway, I'm also here to say thank you for your amazing comments on my post today. I really, really appreciate it!! By the way, all family members I wrote that to wrote me back today with such compassion. Awesome, huh? :)
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