Monday, February 28, 2011

As time elapse....elapses

This weekend, I dragged my husband and one of my best friends to see 1/2 of a band that holds a super special place in my heart.

A place it shares with hair dyed with kool-aid, romps with boys I would NOT acknowledge if I saw them on the street today, thrift store clothes that will never not have sand in them, white polo shirts and shorts that will never not smell of old bay, stomped-on couches, way too much fried food,

and a strobe light.

It is a dear place to me. And one that should probably never be revisited. At least not in a crowd. So, I'm wondering why I thought an evening with G*ne W*en would be a good idea?

The obvious is: dude, It's Gener. Gener! You can't not go. An added and unexpected bonus was how the very idea of the concert was paining M. He agreed to it, "only because hearing Ween sing Ween songs can't be worse than listening to your renditions."

So we went.

And it was weird.

Because I am not the only Ween fan in my city, and not nearly as rabid (or as drunk, or as funk-smelling) as those that showed up at the show. And somehow that was a shock to me.

Question: Where were all of these dirty boys that adored Ween when I was growing up??? Because I more than likely would have hit that.

But last night, man, I just wasn't feeling it. Acoustic renditions of Ween songs are just, well, kind of creepy. And songs that were funny and juvenile oh so long ago just sounded well, creepy, last night. And the funk. Holy shit. M and I bathed as soon as we got home and he mournfully exclaimed, "It's still on me!" as we headed to bed. My pal S.S. texted us this am to see if we had legionaire's disease, because that's how she felt.

But Gene, he was lovely. And so sweet. And put on a great show. And adored the crowd as much as they threw their love (and funk) on to him. He looked like the kind of guy who would totally respond to a love letter written in crayon.

Which solves the decades old mystery, S: We obviously did not send it.

All of this to state the even more obvious - I don't think I am the person I used to be.


And, for the most part, that's a good thing [insert Martha Stewart smiling and nodding knowingly here]. I can wax nostalgic for Mickey's wide mouths and never actually put one near my mouth again. I can walk past places I used to live knowing I will not live there again (I can't. Most of them have been torn down). And the boys, well, we've already discussed that.

But still, there's something a little sad in the recognition that one night spent awake past 4 am will throw off the rest of my week. The understanding that heartburn will end my evening quicker than being tipsy. The knowledge that getting my feet rubbed on my couch by my love holds far more allure than an evening clubbing (please don't share this with a friend I berated mercilessly for admitting this to me years ago. Sorry, Keith. I get it now.)

It's not nearly as bad as the whoosh. But it can be unsettling.

But today, the day that marks four years in the blogosphere for me, I am believing with my whole heart in Angie's gut feeling: that all this standing on the precipice stuff is good.


Interview is tomorrow.
I have a new suit and a new pair of shoes (ok...maybe 3.)
I have a portfolio (!!!)

I have nothing to lose.

Here goes nothing.


Barbara said...

Wow 4 whole years!

Heaps of good luck for your interview.


dana said...

Yay for four years!!!

sending lots of good ju-ju your way! good luck!!

Lori Lavender Luz said...

What? Gene Ween without Dean Ween?

Happy blogoversary, my friend. I know you'll knock their socks off at your interview.

m said...

Thanks for the well wishes everyone!

Yes! Gene with no Dean! Apparently, the story I heard, was there were some incidents on their most recent Euro tour with Deaner ending up stumbling through most sets incoherently babbling. Paris, I've heard, was the last straw, and Dean is getting some help. Poor Deaner....

Two Shorten the Road said...

1. Good luck on your interview! I know you are going to rock it.
2. I stayed up until 2am for a concert last month and the next night I was in bed by 7:30pm.
3. Now I have "Baby Bitch" going through my head.

ivfcycler said...


Fertil Steril. 2011 Feb 16. [Epub ahead of print]

Successful treatment of unresponsive thin endometrium.

Gleicher N, Vidali A, Barad DH.

Center for Human Reproduction and the Foundation for Reproductive Medicine, New
York, New York; Department of Obstetrics, Gynecology and Reproductive Sciences,
Yale University School of Medicine, New Haven, Connecticut.

OBJECTIVE: To assess whether inadequate, thin endometrium (<7 mm), after failure
to expand with standard treatment options, will be responsive to cytokine
treatment. DESIGN: Prospective cohort study of four patients. SETTING: Two
independent IVF centers in New York City. PATIENT(S): Four consecutive women
undergoing IVF who, after standard endometrial preparation, still demonstrated
highly inadequate endometrium. INTERVENTION(S): Transvaginal endometrial
perfusion with granulocyte colony-stimulating factor (G-CSF). MAIN OUTCOME
MEASURE(S): Endometrial thickness on day of ET, with pregnancy as secondary
endpoint. RESULT(S): We report successful endometrial expansion to at least
minimal thickness of 7 mm after uterine perfusion with G-CSF in four patients
previously resistant to treatment with estrogen and vasodilators. All four
patients therefore reached ET, and all four also conceived, although one
pregnancy required termination because of intramural, corneal ectopic location.
Endometrial expansion to minimal thickness occurred within approximately 48 hours
from infusion. CONCLUSION(S): Uterine perfusion with G-CSF represents a promising
new tool for the currently mostly intractable problem of inadequate, thin
endometrium. This treatment also deserves further investigation for its potential
to improve implantation chances in association with IVF and, therefore, pregnancy

Smiling said...

Here from the Creme... those flash backs to the days of youth (had a few here in Italy)... that mix of how can you not go there, and um 'what was I thinking?' I hope the funk is truly washed off and you can have a foot rub to accompany the blog reading today! 4+years. Glad you started this journey of writing!!!