Crunching through freshly falling snow, making my way to the Department of Public Welfare Building to request birth and death certificates for my daughters, Nick Drake's Pink Moon played over and over and over again in my ears as I cried and walked and cried and walked.
And even at the time I could help but think, "Fuck you, Juno. This, this right here, this is a scene is out of a god damned movie."
And wishing I wasn't cast as one of the main characters
When I was young, younger than before
I never saw the truth hanging from the door
And now I'm older see it face to face
And now I'm older gotta get up clean the place.
And I was green, greener than a hill
Where flowers grew and the sun shone still
Now I'm darker than the deepest sea
Just hand me down, give me a place to be.
And I was strong, strong in the sun
I thought I'd see when day is done
Now I'm weaker than the palest blue
Oh, so weak in this need for you.
And just like Catherine W., Nick Cave's Into My Arms is a song I listened to when I had the house to myself. The one I put on to bring on the tears, to stop from feeling numb. Because hurting is better than nothing when nothing is what you have.
When I was pregnant, I would try to take daily walks along the river. I remember stopping in my tracks one afternoon, absolutely overwhelmed by Radiohead's (new, at the time) album. Particularly this song. (christ, I am tearing up as I embed the damn video. Play with caution)
I just can't let go of this album, but this song is one I need to skip every now and then. Because its all too much.
And it goes without saying that Bjork's Isobel is one that is so beautiful, but now so painful I won't be linking to it here. If I had to choose one song, erased from my playlist forever, not because I don't love it, but because I do, this would be the one.
wondering what's going on here? Here. Read this.