Friday, August 21, 2009

Ok. Breathe Deep.

You should be thankful that I didn't post yesterday, or the day before, or the day before. It's been a helluva week. But I am ok now. Really beyond ok.

A fight with a credit card company resulted in me transferring that balance into far cooler and better cards - ones that give me things for the debt in incur. Take THAT Bank of America. Hmph!

Obviously, I'm feeling a little empowered by that.

A second look at a house that I really liked (that we learned was under contract pending a home inspection) revealed all kinds of reasons why that house is not the house for us. Two words: Asbestos. Termites. So, absolutely no need to pine over a house that we could have had but were too slow to make an offer. We didn't want it anyway.

Oh what? I didn't mention we were house hunting? Well sure. Why the hell not. It's something to do, right? No hurry. No rush. One of those, if the perfect place pops up maybe we'll think about it kind of searches. But one that has me taking far too many peeks at www.realtor.com nonetheless.

Some body images and self-loathing placed on hold last night after I made some phenomenal plays at our kickball game. I was this close to having a double play all by myself. Note to self: aim for the legs.

Did I say that last paragraph out loud? Shit. Ok, fine. Don't laugh. Our friend volunteered to be captain on a team for this kickball league in our city because there was this cute dude she liked that also wanted to play and she was desperate and we said sure why the hell not and after M. learned the hard way that he is absolutely in no way shape or form to say a WORD about my speed or lack thereof when running we have actually had a pretty fun time. Phew. There. Confession out.

And yes, someone I love very, very much told me (in the best way possible) that she is expecting. And yes, that brought up some things that I thought I was handling but apparently I am not. But (and L. I know you are reading) I LOVE YOU and I love that you told me and we will celebrate your new one together. Don't even sweat it. What I hate the most is that you had to think about me when you need to be thinking about your self and keeping your lunch down.

But, but wait. There's more.

I don't even need to talk about my frustration with the adoption agency that is helping me find my birth parents, or how I felt they were totally brushing me off or any of that. Because it doesn't matter.

Because I talked to my birth father last night.

30 comments:

April said...

Tears. I hope it was what you needed, wanted and hoped for.

Unrelated, Bank of America sucks.

B. said...

Holy mackerel, you've had one heck of a week!

Ryan's Mommy said...

Way to slide that zinger in there at the end!! When do we get the scoop? Hope the talk went well!

luna said...

wow, that is huge! maybe you'll be willing to share something?

Brenna said...

WOAH. Incredible--that IS a helluva week!

Tracey said...

Wow - that is a week. You have earned the weekend!

My mom was adopted, and getting in touch with her birth family changed her life in so many positive ways. I hope this journey brings you many new family members to love!

Monique said...

Holy shit! What a week. Phew.

Nicole said...

Thanks so much for your kind words via L&F...sounds like we both had one of those weeks!

And I too LOVE my friend and am so very happy for her. I am just disappointed with myself that for that very brief time, I couldn't be totally in it with her--I couldn't feel all of her joy. It made me sad.

Hugs and here's to a better week next week!

Lindsay said...

Wow! It sounds like this week had a lot of answers in store for you. Maybe some more questions?
I loved the gentle way you connected to your pregnant friend in this post. You sound like a wonderful friend.
I worked on your bracelet, and I just know you'll love it. (unless you hate the color yellow..you do love yellow..don't you? I know I'm kind of giving it away, but you don't want to send someone something they can't stand)
So, anyway, yeah, you'll love it ;)

Infertile In the City said...

Sounds like quite the week - and you talked to your genetic dad - hope it went okay.
as for the pregnancy, yeah it's weird how we think we are handeling it and WHAMO we're not (even though we love them).

Barbara said...

Wow, quite a week!

I hope that conversation went well.

xxx

Dani819 said...

Whoa. Just whoa.

jill said...

I'm sorry you had a hard week :/ But wow! You talked to your birth father? How amazing! I hope it went well!

What IF? said...

Wow. I'm reeling after just *reading* about your week - I can't imagine *living* it. I hope the conversation with your birth father leads to everything you dreamed about, and all the peace and knowledge you need.

michelle said...

Whoa! What a busy week - you deserve a weekend break for sure. I know what you mean about thinking you're dealing with something well and then along comes someone you totally love announcing they are pregnant and then WHOOSH suddenly you are having emotions flow and fly and holy heck.......*sigh*

Like you I am thrilled and don't want people to be afraid of telling me these things. I want to celebrate with them/for them. Me? I can bemoan my situation later.

Lavender Luz said...

Wowie-o-wow-wow!

Holy moly. What a life-changing event.

And such grace with the pregnancy news.

:-) for you!

Skerry said...

Congrats on kicking BOA to the curb and for being a kickass Kickball Queen. I've retreated to quietly lurking, but your mention of your Bio - Father has perked me up. I can't wait to read more.

FET Accompli said...

What a week! Finding out someone's pregnant always hits me like a ton of bricks - it takes the wind out of me. I think most of us bloggers can relate to the mixed emotions you discussed.

So you spoke to your birth father -looking forward to hearing how that went, if you'd like to share.

loribeth said...

Holy cow, that's quite the week. Are we going to hear more about your conversation with your birth father?? (now that you got our attention?? lol)

angie said...

woah. to all of it. i have missed you. xo.

nutmeg96 said...

Holy shit! How did you find him? OMG. What did he say? Curse you for leaving us hanging! :)

chicklet said...

eek, I assume by the way you said "none of that matters" it means it went well? I sure hope so:-)

Anonymous said...

Incredible. I hope that it was all that you hoped for.

JP

Amy said...

Ohmygosh, my eyes are literally bulging from my head. I wish I could hug you, and I hope it was good, and helpful, and everything that you hoped it could be.

And yeah, BoA sucks. A lot.

(I don't comment a lot...I almost feel like I shouldn't, but I'm still here, still reading, still thinking of you).

KuKd Chick said...

Wow, talking to your birth father. What was that like? I can't imagine. And yeah, I think you struck the balance nicely when posting about your prego-friend's news. Honest, yet full of love for your friend.

Sue said...

That's HUGE. I hope it was good and that you'll be able to share.

Anonymous said...

yes, of course i'm reading. yes, she is a good friend. :) and i can't wait to hear more about your father and brothers. xo, L.

annacyclopedia said...

Having emerged from my own week(s) of insanity, I am behind in reading. But HOLY WOW - you talked to your birth father! Just wow. Hoping whatever swirling mass of emotions I imagine you are feeling includes some peace and clarity, for you and for him - so that he can see how amazing you are.

Bluebird said...

Holy. Shit.

!!!!!

I feel confident there's an update in the newer post that I have also yet to read, so I'm moving on, but for now - >!?!?!?!?!!!

Smiling said...

holy sh*t didn't expect that last line! wow! your life sounds like a whirlwind of unexpected twists and turns. I hope it was an easier conversation than with the credit card company type of calls!

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