Friday, November 13, 2009

Up and In

When she was younger, my mom had every intention of being a nun. Got herself to a nunnery, became a novitiate, has all kinds of stories about having to knit her own sweaters and rolling her own sanitary pads. And she was cool with all of it.

The joke in the family is that the vow of silence is what broke her. She just couldn't keep her mouth shut.

Well damn if I'm not my mother's child.

I wasn't planning to be near a computer today but now I am and it seems that there is nothing I can think about other than these things I'm not talking about so I might as well uncork the bottle, get it out and get on with my day.

We are in the midst of a fresh donor egg cycle.

And when I say "in the midst" I mean we are going for a 5-day single blast transfer on Sunday.

And when I say "fresh" I mean 16 fertilized. 8 tossed in the freezer right away. 8 still cleaving. One lucky one gets to try their luck up in my (still not great, but not terrible) ute come Sunday.

So, there. There you have it.

Lots of drama between then and now, including preparing for the biggest event my work puts on all year (and my absence from it), and a full-on 103+ temp., hallucination-inducing bout of the flu for M. that manifested itself the night before his, ahem, specimen retrieval.

Not that flu that dare not speak its name, but a good old-fashioned seasonal one that required some medical intervention nonetheless. His sweats and chills and feeble coughs brought about a sleepless night with terrible dreams of being turned away at the clinic door (get your virus-filled selves outta here!), watching our long awaited cycle disintegrate into ash along with his overheated swimmers. Google searches and reputable health sites reminded me yes there is a 72-day delay between the sperm made and sperm emerged. But still. This was one additional layer of panic we truly didn't need. Particularly since earlier stripe checks for me were showing not only the substandard level of my endometrium, but some mystery liquid up in there to boot.

Luckily, we had planned for some of this - my thin layers, not the liquid. And built in more time in this cycle for it to grow, keeping me on estrogen longer, starting our donor on her way later. The fluid (not atypical in IVF cycles) sorted itself out and reabsorbed. And the last we checked, my lining was up to 4.5 mm and counting, and attempting to get itself trilaminar (appearing on the screen as 3 distinct layers), usually a prerequisite for a successful cycle. This was about a week ago, so I am hoping everything continues to plump up. Dare I dream for 5 mm. before transfer?

Now I know, most clinics don't even think about a cycle with uteri thinner than 6 or 7. Some set the bar at 8 mm. Yes, yes, we know. That's my clinic'c preference as well. But you see, they know us and we know them on a first name basis these days. I've already earned enough frequent rider points to get two round trip tickets from my train excursions to the clinic. Some of the nurses and residents could probably pick pictures of my uterus out of a lineup. That's how often we've been hanging out there. We've already had a mock cycle earlier this year which showed that despite the thinness, everything else (luteal phases, progesterone absorption, all that) is lining up as it should.

So we are going for it.

On Sunday.

With one embryo.

Over and out. (or should I say, up and in)

28 comments:

Lani said...

wow! good luck! i'll be thinking of you guys. and cannot wait to see you in person next weekend.
xo

Mo and Will said...

OMG!!!! This is excellent news!!!! I will be keeping you firmly in my thoughts, m. And M. I hope you feel better pronto!

So excited for you. And so hopeful.
You so deserve for this to work.

Mo

jill said...

Very exciting :) Wish you boatloads of luck!!

Barbara said...

Yikes1

Crossing everything for you.

(except legs)

xxx

Clover said...

I can only imagine how hard this is for you to even contemplate, let alone move forward with. I hope with all my heart that its successful and that you have drama-free pregnancy.

Kami said...

Ooooo!!!! I am holding out lots and lots of hope for you.

Come on magic embryo and magic lining!

ezra'smommy said...

good luck!!!! lots of positive fertility vibes coming your way. xoxo

N said...

Is it selfish of me to say I'm glad you spoke, because now I can be cheering you on from my little corner? Perhaps, but it's true nonetheless.

Liz said...

I am crossing every part of my body I can cross for you. You deserve this so much!

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Huge news deserves hugely good thoughts going into Sunday. I'll be thinking about you and sending good vibes.

clare said...

hehe my mum was also going to be a nun. And my father-in-law was in the seminary. Clearly some paths changed.

Oh I am so excited and nervous for you!!! Wishing you all the best with this cycle.

Take care!!!!

Kate said...

Best of luck on Sunday. Sounds like great results so far, with that many fertilized and frozen and still growing away.
Hope your DH stays healthy, that your uterus is looking perfect when they go for transfer, and that you stay healthy and of course get pg!

Lavender Luz said...

I will be thinking of you through the weekend, M.

Hugs!

Two Shorten the Road said...

Yeah! Good luck!

tireegal68 said...

Yeah for donor eggs and frequent flyers! Keeping you in my hopeful heart and hoping for beautiful things for your lovely embie:)

Catherine W said...

Wishing you the very, very best and lots of plumping vibes.
Hope M feels better soon. xo

AKD said...

I am so happy for you - best of luck, and take it easy after the transfer!

Ryan's Mommy said...

I am so excited for you! Keep us posted, please!

Dani819 said...

Wow! Fingers crossed, eyes crossed, toes crossed, and sending love and luck.

TracyOC said...

Go, embryo, go! Or do I cheer for your uterus? Either way, best of luck.

T

angie said...

woweee...will be sending all the good vibes I have on Sunday, and can't wait to hug you in person!

Bluebird said...

EEEEKKKKK!!!! I am so excited for you, and so happy to know this! (Thank you for sharing!) My entire body will be so crossed its twisted in a pretzel, sending good vibes and best of luck to you :) Much love, dear friend, much love!

Infertile In the City said...

Way to go! So glad that your in a cycle and on the way - grow lining! Grow little babies!

Stacie said...

Yeah! I am so happy for you! I'll be sending you loads of luck and good vibes on Sunday and the rest of the tww!

birdsandsquirrels said...

Wow, that is great news! I am so excited and hopeful for you!

Lindsay said...

I really hope you have a great outcome. Thinking of you...xoxo

Anonymous said...

M -
Sorry for being all crazy on you. :( I guess one good thing about the blog is that it pacifies me enough to not stalk you, though I DO want to be in the same space as your face SOON!. :)

Thanks for all of your updating goodness - and I hope your emby is getting all nice and cozy up in your stuff. ;)

~m~

Holly said...

What great news to hear just getting back from vacation...I am sending you good fertile vibrations and praying for a fabulous lining and that at this very moment that beautiful little embryo is settling in for a long winter's nap!

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