News and Next Steps

The good news is I didn't have to jump out of bed this morning and give myself a shot.

The bad news is, you guessed it, this attempt is officially canceled.

After a day spent consulting with our doctor and nurse at the clinic and lots of soul searching we have decided that we are going to try again in a month or so with our chosen donor. That is, of course, if she agrees.

She did begin to slowly respond to higher doses of her meds but our doctor felt that at this rate, she would have 3-5 eggs tops to use. Could this be a fluke? Could she be the one out of twenty women that simply don't respond to artificial stimulation? Would starting at a higher dosage of estrace and then Gonal F solve the problem?

We'll see, won't we?

But why not just choose another donor? You ask. And here is my response.

Back in March, when we had our first consult with this clinic, it was strictly an exploratory visit. We wanted to see what our options were. If they felt good and we we happened to find a donor that knocked our socks off, we would proceed. If not, we would go home, mull it over and decide on next steps after a few glasses of wine.

Well, we found that woman. She knocked our socks off. We knew from the bottom of our hearts we wanted to proceed. With that donor. With this clinic. So we did. We read and reread her profile and felt as if either of us could have written it. We laughed at her responses; we appreciated the time she she took to be so thoughtful in her answers. We felt like she could be one of our coolest friends. She was the reason we went down the egg donor path.

Our doc gave us the info and what he called the "traditional wisdom" that others had followed when faced with our decision. That would be to select another comparable donor, decrease the risk of another cancellation and increase the odds of getting a higher number of eggs. He said he wanted to remove as many uncertainties and "what ifs" from the process as possible. Fair enough.

Our chosen donor already has two children of her own. Which is another reason that we are inclined to think that a.) this cycle was a bit of a fluke and b.) she has some quality eggs, perhaps just not as many as the average person.

Who wants average?

When our doc said he wanted to remove as many "what ifs" as possible, both hubby and I immediately felt that there would always and forever be a "what if" if we settled for a donor that we felt was inferior to the one we have now. Looking through the big book of donor profiles confirmed that. We compared timelines and additional financial obligations with our doc and they are both pretty much a wash. It comes down to, do we want to take a 30% chance of success with someone we feel 100% about or do we want much higher odds with someone that we feel about 30% ok with?

If our donor declines, then we'll reassess the situation. We'll have a look at new donors that have come in. Maybe we'll even pay a visit to another clinic. Maybe we'll wait. We refuse to feel rushed or desperate. There is no reason to be. As far as having a baby, it doesn't have to be right now, it just has to be right.