Saturday, December 20, 2008

The Rebirth of the Sun. The Return To Light.

So many thoughts and words and activity these last few days. Mostly around our search for my birth parents. Mostly backwards movements. Insults to injury (thanks again, Catholic Charities. For nothing.) Lots of conversations and hard (but good!) discussions around our future path to parenthood, rethinking of previously held ideals, negotiating non-negotiables. To say this has been a growing period for M. and me is an understatement. I never thought we could be closer, more connected than we already are. I was wrong.

In the last 48 hours I have been too angry to write (a rarity. Blame Catholic Charities), too at peace to write, too lazy (too tipsy?) to write. I've contemplated starting up a whole new blog for FN-posts, another one for the birth parent search and numerous other things.

But these are all connected. And all relate, deeply, to our quest to grow a family.

So, I think they will all just stay here.

I will get my act together and give you a glimpse of what's been going on. But for now, you should read this post. Luna reminded me about the winter solstice. And that things must, must get darker and colder before the light re-emerges. Most of all, he reminded me that it doesn't hurt to hope.

We will get through the holidays. And when we do, 2009 will be waiting for us. For us and the family that we will build.


luna said...

just catching up with you here. thanks for the shout out and for your kind words.

about your last post, those questions can eat away at you. wishing wishing you some peace as you continue to move forward.

Amy said...

I am continually awed by your strength, courage, and spirit. I pray 2009 will be a bright and shining year for you.