Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Slowly, Slowly

Quick post on the fly to let you know I am here. In the office, that is.

The weather forecast worked in my favor. The office is empty. Ice storms (even when they don't happen) make people skittish. The only one here is me. And an electrician trying to fix something. And my crazy boss flitting in and out running errands but she is not really "here."

So far, it's been nice to be here. Communicating with co-workers and members (I work for a non-profit association), whittling away at email that has accumulated...

But now I am at the point where the emails are from Before. From when I was pregnant. From when I was helping to plan my maternity leave. From when everyone was so excited...

So pretty much every email I am trying to tackle now is peppered with at least one mention of me-as-pregnant-lady or of the girls. A joke here. A how-are-you-feeling there. The first few caught me off guard, especially after such a non-eventful morning. But slowly, slowly, I am taking them. Reading them. Remembering not that Iso.bel and Jo.vita are not here (damn I love their names) but that these are all the people that are rooting for us, cheering us on. There were here and they will be here again when it is time to try again.

And that time will be here soon enough.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, I'm a little (LOT) teary now. I'm glad that your day has been peaceful and that you were alone to take in all of your emails. I hadn't even thought of that - mentions about you and your belly and the girls. Wow. You are so amazingly cool. I know it's only been a short time, but I think you're doing fabulously. Seriously. And I'm so grateful for all the feedback you've been getting. Not just for you, but for me too. I wanna do the right/good/loving thing. Getting a feel for what's good, and what's definitely not is a big help. :) So thank you to all of you for taking the time to share your words.

How did you guys pick the girls' names anyway? I had been meaning to ask you that...

m said...

Gosh, thank you. Your comment made me smile.

The girls are named after 2 beautiful, strong, fiercely independent and artistic women we have the honor of knowing in real life. Unfortunately, we don't get to see either very often (different countries/continents) but think of them often.

Even though we named the girls after real people, we purposefully changed the spellings slightly on each name - so that each girl would know that they were their own person and had their own destinies to create. Thanks for asking. :-)

Mo and Will said...

m,

you are really awesome, you know? truly an incredible woman. keep working through that email pile. glad you made it in to the office today.

Mo

onwardandsideways said...

Hey... thanks for your comment. I will let you know if I ever check out on of those groups. I feel like it's a mental safety net, if nothing else, that I know is out there if things ever get so bad I can't cope. So far, I've been been able to maintain with what I've got. I'm sorry to hear that you too have to deal with that kind of crap though.

I've been reading what's been going on with you from time to time. I cannot believe what you have just been through, and I wish you a lot of strength and courage in the days to come. You seem to be such a strong person, but I know this can't be easy. Hang in there.

Adding you to my blog roll.

Amy said...

I love how you picked their names, and your reasoning for changing the spelling is beautiful. Thank you for sharing that.

I'm glad you had some time at work without people...much better than dealing with people and work and the girls all at the same time.

Chhandita said...

Yes, the names are beautiful...and you are a brave lady..

Dani819 said...

Glad and impressed that you made it to work. This was the last time that you will ever have to do that for the first time. Good for you.

And yes, your daughters' names are just beautiful. What a loving tribute.

~Hollie said...

Bless your heart! Praying for your peace.

Kami said...

What a lovely post. I agree, the names are beautiful. Maybe they will the middle names of a couple of siblings some day.

Barbara said...

I agree, beautiful names with a lovely meaning.

Tough tough times, but you're coping with grace.

xxx

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